Missing: confidence

It's funny how quickly confidence can dissipate, especially since I've not been "officially" training for a few weeks now.

Just 3 weeks ago I ran the half marathon, but since then the longest run I've done was a shade under 3 miles. The rest of my runs have only been 1-2 miles (my 6 months ago self would never have thought I'd insert the word "only" in front of 2 miles!).

Now, the lack of running has been an intentional move. I had a number of random ailments that have needed a little time to heal. I'm pretty sure it's not normal to wince in pain whenever I put weight on my left ankle...right? The good news is that everything is feeling healthy now, save for a few twinges of pain in my ankle from time to time.

But I digress. Being out of a regular running routine and not following a specific schedule has done wonders for killing my confidence in my ability to run.

This is problematic in that I am registered to run a 10K in 4 days. 6.2 miles. And why does that sound so scary all of a sudden? At the time I signed up, I thought- oh this will be easy and fun to "just" do 10K. And now I'm nervous.

I think part of my fear stems from the fact that I run at a pretty slow pace. This was fine in the half marathon because there were thousands of people running it- I knew that there would be no possible way I'd come in last place.

Smaller races, however, seem to carry some added pressure. I have mentioned before that I ran a 10 mile race during my half marathon training and literally came in dead last. And not just dead last, but dead last by a good 10 minutes. The moment I crossed the finish line they began tearing down the finish line.

Who cares, right? I don't.... but I kind of do.

So as this 10K approaches I am feeling more and more nervous about it. It sounds ridiculous, right? I just don't want to be last again. And I probably won't be....but there is always a chance. You see, the next "phase" of running for me is to work on improving my speed, but like I said, I've been on hiatus and haven't done much, speed-wise.

I think the only thing that will calm my nerves about Tuesday's race is to do a 5 or 6 mile run sometime before then, just to remind myself it's no big deal.

So that's the plan. Tomorrow I run. 6 miles. 6.2 miles if I'm feeling bold :)

Seriously, my biggest enemy is my stupid brain. Now I finally understand the saying about running being like 10% ability and 90% mental....

And in TOTALLY unrelated news- just a second ago I noticed that our baby girl cut her first tooth finally :) In case you care.

Happy Friday!

Edit: I'm excited to run a new route today! Going to try out the bike paths in Fargo