You know, the really obnoxious one who says things like: "I hate 5k's. I'd rather run a half marathon than run a 5k."
Let me explain.
I'm not built for speed. Not.at.all. Endurance I'm good with. Speed, not so much. This is why I think I'm in love with the half marathon. It's not as painful as a marathon, but it's still a nice test of endurance. It's long enough where I don't feel like I have to go crazy fast to feel satisfied. And, silly as it sounds, long races are kind of relaxing. It's long enough where you have some time to just enjoy yourself and settle into a pace.
So this is why I found myself cursing myself at the starting line of a 5k yet again this morning.
I always forget HOW much I don't like 5k's until I walk up to the start. And then I remember. And then I think, how come every 5k I run is in stupid weather? The last one I ran was in 95 degree heat and this one was in 30 degrees (though, given the choice I'd take 30 degrees every single time).
So there I was, donning my sexxxxxxxy black winter running tights, FUH-REEEEEZING my buttocks off, thanking god that I at least had a good handful of friends who were also running the race with me. And I mean, it's a DONUT run! DONUTS!!!! There were donuts promised to us at the end of the race, along with hot chocolate and coffee. YES!
For the brave brave souls, there was a "donut aid station" at the midway point of the 5k and 10k. If you stood there and ate a donut, they shaved a minute off your finish time. I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach that. But it's a nice thought anyway!
My goal for this race was to finally go under 30 minutes. I was *thisclose* to doing that at the Scheels 5k in July- rolled in at 30:26 in that race and was MAD that I didn't suck it up and keep running during those couple of moments when I thought I needed to walk.
The only problem is that I have really not done a ton of running in the past month. I have run a marathon, a half marathon, and a 1.5 mile run since October 1st. Sure, two very long runs in there, but no consistency with my running at all. The other problem was that I'd been battling a head cold all week and still wasn't feeling 100%.
But with nothing to lose, I decided to give it my best shot to break 30 minutes. I figured the worst that could happen is that I couldn't maintain the pace and would have to slow down.
I was glad that my friend Erin was going to run with me and hoped that would keep me accountable to my pace.
We lined up AT THE FRONT of the starting line. NO, not because we are super speedsters, but because this race wasn't chip timed, and I wanted the clock at the end to be my actual time rather than having it be off due to starting in the back. Not that the back was all that far back... there was maybe.... 200? 300 runners? Dunno.
And the "gun" (there was no gun. just a guy that yelled GO!) went off! And the next part of my report will mimic the frenetic pace of a 5k:
omigod this hurts so bad. ow ow ow ow ow ow ow. my ankle! my ankles! they hurt! wtf??? am I injured? should I have warmed up? ow ow! okay I feel better. whew. omigosh we're running an 8:15 pace! crap that's too fast! oh no! should I just keep running this pace? don't look at the watch! just run! run fast! holycrap it's cold out. my lungs my lungs!! they're on fire! is it bad that I can hear myself breathe? I hate this song! I hate this song too! where did all of these crap ass songs come from? JOCK JAMS! THAT'S MY JAM! Wheezing! Wheezing! OW OW OW! Woo hoo! 2 miles! wait! Watch says 1.6 miles! DARN! That was the 10k sign. WOO HOO! There's 2 miles! HOLYCRAPHOLYCRAP my lungs my LUNGS! Have to walk. NO NO NO run! just run slowly for a minute instead of walking! OW OW OW! I HATE THIS I HATE THIS! I'm gonna PR! but I still kind of hate this! my stomach hurts! my lungs hurt! I want to barf! HOLYCRAPHOLYCRAP. There's the finish line. runrunrunrunrunrunrun!!! HOLYCRAP 28:32.
STOP.
Wheeze.
Grab donut.
Throw donut away.
Wheeze some more.
Feel pretty gangsta for taking 1:56 off my last PR and breaking that mythical 30 minute 5k mark. For a girl who struggles to run a 10:00 mile, this 9:13 pace felt like an all out sprint.
That race hurt like a mother. And it was awesome. And I still hate 5k's. And I'm sure I'll run more because I'll forget the pain until I toe the next start line.
And I think that might be a month from now at the Jingle run. Glutton for punishment.
