Fargo Mini Marathon (1/2 marathon) race report!

I've been hearing this phrase a lot lately by other running bloggers:

"Leave it all on the course"  The idea of coming across the finish line with your gas tank on empty. 

And today, I think I did that... or at least almost did.

Remember when I was all like "oh yeah, just gonna run this for funsies.  Just gonna run a nice relaxed pace"

And then, remember when I was like "oh, well, maybe I'll try for a PR... will see how my body feels."

My last PR was at the Women Rock MN 1/2 marathon on September 1st.  A time of 2:18:51 (10:36 pace).

So, I had my doubts today.  At the Women Rock race, I was in prime cardio condition as I had been doing a ton of biking and running.  I also ran that race with a pace group, which made it easy to just settle in and let them do all the hard math.

Trying to PR is a lot harder if you're only going to PR by a tiny bit (had no faith that I would get a monster PR even IF I was able to beat my last time).  There is also the variability when you're running a race because the Garmin isn't usually right on with the mile markers (due to weaving around people, etc).  So the average pace on my Garmin might not be a true indication.

So, I printed off handy dandy little pace bands to wear that would also help me out.  I of course forgot them.

Anyway, so I was just not feeling super confident that I could make that PR goal.  I made the plan to run with my friend Diane who had a similar previous PR time and was wanting to beat that.  I was glad to have someone to push me and keep me a little accountable today since I didn't have the luxury of a pace group.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty nervous actually!  I had my usual breakfast of 2 slices of peanut butter toast and a cup of coffee.  I was feeling a little barfy, but I think it was just nerves.  I haven't had this long a break from running since last December!  It's been 13 days since the marathon and I had NO idea how my legs would hold up.

Got to Scheels Arena around 7am, even though the race wasn't set to begin till 8:45.  Always like to be nice and early for races.  Hung out with friends, took some pictures, and nervously awaited the start.

The weather was... meh.  Okay I suppose.  I was hoping for some sunshine, but it was overcast.  The temp was around 44 degrees and the wind was... kind of ugly.  South wind, maybe 10 mph, but the course we ran had us running into the wind quite a bit.

The 1/2 marathon was a pretty small race- maybe 800 runners?  Much smaller than the Fargo Marathon events that I'm used to running.  The course was.... interesting.  No, not really interesting.  More like... pretty boring.  We basically ran through neighborhoods.  Some nicer developments, so we got to see some nice homes... but still.  We ran through cul-de-sacs and on bike paths.  We twisted and turned A LOT.

Jay and my kiddos and a few friends were out at mile 5.  Was so excited to see them!  This was the first time that Max and Bea have been able to come out for a race.  They made me signs.  It was awesome.  Other than that, not a ton of people were out on the course.  It was kind of lonely at times out there in the 'hood.  

My body felt great though.  A little foot crampage for the first couple of miles and my knee bothered me for a mile or so around mile 6 (I think because of all the turns).

Had some breathing room with our pacing as we ran mile 1 in 10 minutes.  We slowed down into a pretty even pace of around 10:25 or so and walked through the water stations.
And I'm not sure what kicked in for me, but I started picking up the pace around mile 5 or 6.  I think what it was was that I was sick of looking at my watch all.the.time.  So I found this couple that was running together and seemed to be running the pace I wanted to run... and then I just kind of ran right behind them for most of the rest of the race.  Sometimes I looked down and saw that I was running 9:45 pace, sometimes we were running 10:30... but slowly my average pace was creeping down and down.

And I was scared.  I was pretty scared that I would burn myself out and not have anything left for the last miles.  But I got to mile 10 and was still feeling like I had gas in the tank.  And then mile 11.. still good!  Mile 11 1/2 or so... I felt a little sluggish.  Took one more GU (a chocolate one).  BAD move.  I NEVER do 3 GU's on a 1/2 marathon- usually 2 is sufficient.  But I thought I'd give it a shot and it made me feel pretty pukey for a few minutes!

The last mile was pretty tough.  Not gonna lie.  I kept telling myself- go. go. go.  Leave it all out on the course.  Leave it all on the course.  you're not gonna die.  yes you are.  no you're not.  leave it out there.

I had to walk twice in the last mile for 30 seconds or so, but by this time I KNEW I had my PR, so I felt okay with the quick little walks.  And then I powered through that last 1/3 mile or so.

And then I finished.  And then I saw my finish time:  2:14:10!!!!!!  A pace of 10:15!!!!

A PR of 4:41!

And then my medal.

And then my bottle of water.

And then my.... beef stick?  what a weird thing to have handed to you after running a half marathon.

And then some hugs and some photos and some noodle soup.  Oh and potato chips.  Why do potato chips taste SOOOOO amazing after a long run?

Pretty proud of this race because I really pushed myself.  I wasn't sure I had this pace in me.  Especially since my body is still technically recovering from Twin Cities Marathon.

No more big races now for awhile, and that's a good thing.  May will be the next race- probably the 1/2 marathon.  Until then, some small, fun races and trying to PR shorter distances.

Could I have pushed any harder?  Maybe.... but I think I came close to "leaving it all on the course" today.  

Diane and I! 

Sue and I

Mel and I

My cousin Tracy KILLED her first 1/2 marathon!!  2:07!  What a rockstar!

Julie and I!

Me, Mel, Erin, and Jesse

Me and my bling!

Mel PR'd too, by like 20 minutes!  We didn't match on purpose.  :)

I think I'm kind of nervous!

I wasn't feeling worried at all about running the half marathon this Saturday, until the irrational thought just crossed my mind...

"What if I have lost my fitness since the marathon??"

I mean, it's only been 2 weeks since the marathon... it's not possible that I've fallen out of shape that quickly, right?  I maybe wouldn't feel that worried, but I did have a good week and a half right before the marathon in which I hardly ran at all either.

Totally irrational to think I suddenly can't handle 13 miles, right? 

My trouble with authority

Okay, I have something I'd like to say.  Don't take this the wrong way, please.

You're not the boss of me.

No, really, I mean it.  In the nicest way possible, of course.


You're probably confused now, so I'll explain.

I have trouble with authority... I mean, if it comes to legit laws and such, obviously I'll do my best to abide.

But when it comes to my life and my decisions and whatnot, I tend to buck authority.  It's as if I've always had this need to prove something to myself and others that I can succeed.

One time when I was a lazy 9th grader, I had a teacher tell me that he didn't think I was going to be able to do well in the class because of my work ethic.  I showed him by turning around my lazy ways and aced the class.

When I was looking at colleges to attend, my asshole high school counselor gently suggested community college because my class rank was in the bottom half (of a 600+ person class)  She thought this would affect ability to succeed in a 4 year college.  I told her thanks, but no thanks to that very unhelpful suggestion and set out to prove otherwise.  I pictured her stupid face every time I stayed up late writing a paper or studying for a test.  Ended up on the deans list my entire Freshman year of college.

Once during a summer break, I decided I was going to work two jobs to save extra money.  Some wise person told me I shouldn't work so much.  I ended up working even more.  P.S.- working 80 hours a week really is a stupid idea.  But I did it.


See a pattern here?  My stubbornness and need to prove that I can handle having a lot on my plate has caused me some unneeded stress at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love pushing myself and seeing what I can handle.  Admittedly there were instances over the years in which I couldn't handle everything, but for the most part, I was able to push through and reach my goals.

This mindset I believe has been instrumental in helping me to train for races and reach my goal to finish a marathon.  People said it was crazy and some thought I was pushing myself too hard.  But I think that only I can *really* determine what is too much, right?

Sometimes I bristle when well intending friends try to give me wise advice about how much I should or should not run, or telling me to take X number of days off because that's what research says to do.  And it's not that I don't appreciate the care and concern.  And I feel like an unappreciative a-hole sometimes when I don't take the advice- especially since some of my friends are seasoned, successful runners.

But it still all comes down to me knowing my body.  It comes down to me knowing my limits and knowing what I can handle.  It comes down to me being stubborn as hell and having to learn from experience- even if experience means falling flat on my face.  I love to push the limits though and wouldn't have it any other way.

So this all stems from running this half marathon this weekend.  And I know that some eyebrows raise when I say I am running a half just two weeks after running a full.  And I know that "they" say it's not the wisest idea.  But I really want to run it and my legs feel great!  So why WOULDN'T I give it a shot, right?  And, lets be real here- I'm not some speedy superstar.  I'm not running at intense injury provoking speeds.  I'm a turtle at best!  And if I somehow injure myself, then I give all the critics permission to tell me "I told you so!"  But lets hope there's no injury.  :)  I feel great.  I feel strong.  I feel like I want to get one more race out of the months of effort I put into training before I dial down the running in lieu of strength training. 

So, humor me here and just tell me "good luck!  have fun!" even if you think I'm the dumbest person alive.  :)

so what's next?

So now the dust has settled on the marathon training.  I was feeling a little depressed for a few days after the race.  Besides my wedding, I have never put so much time and heart and energy into a one day event.  And in terms of actual hours of effort, I don't even think I put THAT much time into my wedding! 

I feel proud of myself for following through with 18 weeks of training.  I feel proud that I hardly missed any training runs.  I am surprised and grateful that I made it through without a single injury.  Considering I spent the better part of the first 9 months of my running career nursing some type of injury, I was nervous I was going to be destined to be an injury prone runner.  I think my weight loss and building my running muscles has made me a stronger runner.

Now that I am stronger, I think the next task is to get faster.  I know I will never be a super speedy runner, but I think I can still make some big improvements.

I have some ideas about this.  And I have some plans for the future.

Short term goals:

I have a couple of races to run before the snow flies! 

Next Saturday (October 20th), I am going to run the Fargo Mini Marathon (a half marathon).  I know it's not the *best* idea to run another distance run just two weeks out from the marathon, but my legs are feeling 100% and I think I have it in me.  No lingering pain, and if I was able to make it through training strong, I'm not worried about injury.  I am going to run the race smart, and if there is any hint of pain, I will back off my pace and run for fun.  If I am feeling good, I might just shoot for a PR (2:18 or faster). 

Saturday November 3rd, I am going to run the Donut Run 10k.  Because...well... DONUTS.  No brainer.  I want to gauge my speed on a 10k to see where I am at for that distance.

Other races I might run:  Turkey Trot 5 mile on November 17th and Jingle Run 5k on December 1st. 

Medium term goals:

Between now and March my goal is to focus on strength training and improve my 10k speed.  I am going to work with a trainer to figure out a strength training routine- preferably using free weights rather than machines.  I am going to use a Runkeeper training program to work on a Sub-55 minute 10k (current 10K PR around 1:06?).  I think the 10k training program is about 16 weeks long.

Will also do cross training by going to spin class and maybe try some lap swimming?

Long term goals:

Fargo Marathon- 1/2 marathon in May.  Not sure of time goal for that yet- it will depend on how much speed I've built in the previous months.  Ultimate half marathon time goal?  Under 2 hours.  But I think under 2 hours is a SOMEDAY goal.  Doubt I can get there by May.

Marathon- I definitely want to run another marathon.  Aiming for something next Fall.  Since Twin Cities Marathon and Chicago Marathon generally happen on the same weekend, I would probably choose one of those.  I would love to do TCM again, but it would be SO awesome to do Chicago.  This decision will probably be based on budget.  Chicago would obviously be more expensive. 


So, there it is!  Making myself accountable again for some more goals.  Excited to keep working at being a better runner and seeing how far I can push myself!

This probably also means another year of me blabbing on and on about running and oversharing my workouts on my blog and on Facebook!  To some it's probably too much info, but I know that for myself, I am motivated by reading people's workouts and successes.  If I can help to motivate some of my friends to take up running or work on personal goals, then I feel like it's worth it.  I can name more than a handful of my friends who have told me that I have inspired them to run.  I don't say this because I'm trying to be all full of myself, I say it because I think it's crazy awesome how Runkeeper and Facebook and other social networky things can help others to create change in their lives. 

Here is to another year of hard work and doing this together! 

Twin Cities Marathon race report

So, here it is- I apologize in advance that this might end up being awfully long!

Here is how race day all shook out.

Sunday, October 7

5am- Alarm sounds and I burst out of bed!  My sleep overnight was spotty, but not terrible.  I DID, however, sweat a significant amount overnight.  Gross.  But, who takes a shower before running 26.2 miles?  Not this girl.  Still, not a nice feeling to start my morning feeling all grimy.

I puttered around the room, grabbed my two slices of wheat bread nicely packed away in a ziplock baggie, and went downstairs in search of coffee and a toaster.  Score, I found both.  Slightly surprised the toaster wasn't made in the mid 1980's.  Surprisingly modern for the 80's hotel.  I do have a sneaking suspicion, though, that the coffee had been brewed in approximately 1987, based on the fact that it tasted like total shit.  Just a guess though.  (Let me be clear, this didn't stop me from drinking 2 cups of that sludge).

Sludge coffee in hand, I am ready to head to the Dome!

Got dressed and checked over everything about 50 more times.  Made Jay take several photos of me.  Slowly made my way outside, dreading the 28 degree temps.  Crossed paths with a bunch of marathoners who stayed at the hotel and exchanged "good lucks" with each other.

Started walking towards my meeting spot with Stacie.  We chose an intersection that was about halfway between each of our hotels.  I was all turned around and went the wrong direction for a few blocks, but after realizing my error I turned around and found Stace.  Because she's awesome and adventurous, she was donning a bright green tutu.  Because I am not adventurous, I was simply wearing pants.  She did, however, supply me with the rockinest pair of neon green fishnet 80's gloves.  Sweet.

Brr! 

It was still only about 7am, and the race didn't begin till 8, so we went into the Metrodome to try to relax and warm up.  I expected it to be a madhouse in there, but it was actually pretty low-key.  The lines for the bathrooms were even moving quickly!

We took a few nervous self-portraits and I realized that I was hungry again- so I took a chance and ate a Clif Bar, hoping that wouldn't screw up my tummy.

Around 7:30a we made our way to corral 3 and tried our best to get up close to the 5:00 pace team that we planned on running with during the race.  For a 5:00 finish, we would have to average 11:27 pace.  We had no concerns about being able to run that pace as we had comfortably done that pace for all of our long runs.  My experience with pace teams for half marathons is that we run a little bit faster than the average pace so we could walk through water stations.  I figured it would be a similar scenario for the full marathon.

The gun went off and about 10 minutes later we finally made our way to the starting line.  And we were off!  It was about 30 degrees, but I think my adrenaline warmed me up, so I was able to shed the throw away cotton hoodie I was wearing.  The air was cold in my lungs and it felt like we were keeping a pretty quick pace.  The first mile went quickly... wanna know why?  Because we ran mile one in 8:02.  Yes, you read that right.  8:02.

Uhhh..... enter in my first sliver of doubt about this pace group.  Miles 2 and 3 were slower, but our 5k split was 33:33 (a 10:47 pace).  Between that fast pace and a pretty significant hill in that first 5k, I was still feeling *good*, but not *great.*  Oh and somewhere around mile 2ish, Danny (the pace leader) announces "okay!  walk for 1 minute!"  Stacie and I were like... um, huh?  There was no aid station, it was just a random order to walk.  This is when I realized that the pacing was going to be one of those run/walk deals.  NOT how we trained, but I had heard from some people that they really like run/walk.  I tried to be positive about it and keep trusting the pace group.  But I was feeling some doubts.

The course was absolutely GORGEOUS.  The trees were colorful and we ran through piles of crunchy leaves.  It smelled like a beautiful Fall morning.  When I wasn't distracted by weird pacing, I was trying my best to take in the scenery and the experience.

The first aid station was kind of a cluster because there were soooo many people on a narrow street and then I couldn't tell right away if we were running through the aid station or if we were walking it.  The communication coming from Danny was poor.  My irritation level was on the rise, but I was trying my best to shake it off.

Mile 11

The miles ticked away and was excited to see my hubby at mile 4, my friend Amanda at mile 7ish, my friend Kori around mile 8, and Jay again around mile 11!  Was still feeling pretty solid and there weren't a ton of hills during this stretch.  According to my watch, we were still keeping a pretty quick pace, and as I got more fatigued, I was feeling more and more annoyed with the pace group.

We crossed the half-marathon point at 2:27.

Around mile 15, I couldn't deal with feeling irritated any more.  I purposely fell back from the pace group and just decided to run even splits at this point.  I planned on trying to run 11:20ish and walk through water stops.  I figured it was time to just go with what had worked for me through all of our training runs.  Stacie was looking great still and I told her I was just going to do my thing.  She ran ahead and I was going solo.

I wasn't too far behind the pace group and for the next couple of miles I was able to see them a block or two ahead of me.  Just because I wasn't running with them anymore, I still hoped to keep them in sight to know I was still somewhat on track for a 5:00ish finish.

Then mile 17 happened.  I think there was a hill?  Or maybe there wasn't... but I started to fade fast.  It started to feel hard.  I took a little walk break and when I started running again, it hurt.  I stopped to pee at a port-o-potty.  I was starting to lose momentum.  I was really happy to see Amanda again soon after and I shouted to her "I feel like shit!" and she shouted something encouraging.  :)

Mile 19! Still trying to smile!

I kept on going, saw my friend Nancy at mile 19 and I stopped to say hello for a second and take a quick picture.  I needed to have a break anyway again, and seeing Nancy cheered me up.

Around mile 20ish or 21 I hit the wall for realz. I was sooooo tired.  My legs were starting to feel like lead.  The thought of GU was making me gag.

 My longtime friend (and former Subway boss) Howard came out on his bike and he actually rode on the path alongside the course from mile 20 all the way to the end.  It was awesome to know that there was a friendly, familiar face nearby during those last 6 miles.

And it was seriously the LONGEST 6 miles of my life.  I had to take what felt like a million walk breaks and I was feeling absolutely discouraged.  My 5:00 pace group was long gone and I spent some time in my head feeling disappointed in myself that I was going to finish so far behind my goal time.  I felt embarrassed and had a lot of negative self talk happening.  I was feeling pissed off that I felt like I burned up my energy too much in the beginning by running with the pace group and wished I could go back in time and just done my OWN pacing for the marathon.  I now know what they mean when they say not to do things different on race day than you did on your long runs.  If I were more experienced, maybe I would have figured this out early on and broke away from the pace group right away (like after we ran an 8 minute mile in mile 1).

and OHHHH the hills in those last 6 miles.  RIDICULOUS.  It felt like I was climbing mountains.  At this point, when I DID run, the pace was more like a 12:00 pace.  I would run for a few minutes, walk for a few minutes.  I never had any doubt that I would finish, but I knew that my time was going to be really impacted.

And then something magical happened at mile 25.  Something magical called Carly Rae Jepsen happened.  Call Me Maybe was a last minute addition to my iPod Shuffle when I made my marathon playlist.  I don't know why I love this song so much, but I had a brief moment of joy and suddenly I was running a 9:00 pace and was smiling and mouthing the words and felt light as air.  Call it a moment of delirium?  I don't know, but it was a bright spot for sure.  As soon as the song ended, I was back to walk/running.

I knew I was close to the end and I tried to do as much running as possible (it felt more like shuffling) and suddenly we rounded a corner and the State Capitol was in sight.  I teared up a little and knew it was almost over.

Jay was on the sideline at mile 26 and I probably would have cried, but I was too tired.

And then I crossed the finish line.  5:17:46.

Not the time I hoped for, but I finished!!!

I hobbled over and got my medal.

I hobbled through the lines for food.  Nothing really sounded good.  I grabbed a bag of chips and a chunk of bread.

I hobbled over and got my weird mylar blanket.

And then I saw Stacie and her family.  I realized how lonely I was without her over the last 11 miles.  The rockstar told me that she actually finished BEFORE the pace group (4:53).  We hugged and I cried.  I was so glad to be done but kind of sad that it was over.  We said our goodbyes and I hobbled over to get my finishers shirt.

I met Jay at the Caribou tent.  Coffee never sounded so good!

And so it was done.  I wish we would have had time to hang around the Capitol for awhile and celebrate, but we had a Vikings game to get to!  We slowly made our way to the car that was a few blocks away.  Weaved our way through traffic, and headed back to the Metrodome!

I was exhausted, but the Vikings game was awesome.  I didn't have time or opportunity to change my clothes, so I wore my marathon clothes the whole time.  Gross, huh?  Luckily for me my sweat glands aren't stinky, so I honestly didn't smell bad.  I wore my medal to the game and didn't take it off till we got home.

We hit the road after the game and finally made it home a little after 10pm.

And then I took the BEST.SHOWER.EVER.

And then I went to bed.

And I was so sore that it hurt to even lay in my bed.

And now I end the longest blog post ever.

Can't wait for my next marathon!

Here are my stats, if you're interested.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/231557359#.UHNn7zrJVVU.blogger

Mile 26!  Almost done!!!

Sweaty, salty, and proud as hell!

So tired.

At the Vikings game!

Twin Cities Marathon race weekend

I am tempted to just jump to the good stuff and write up the race report, but rather than give away the ending, how about a little post about the few nerve-wracking days leading up to the big day?

Thursday
I was feeling anxious much of the week, but on Thursday the nerves really amped up.  It was seriously ridiculous how limited my attention span was.  I was twitchy and bouncing off the walls and couldn't focus for more than a few minutes at a time.  I got up and walked around my office like every 10 minutes for no reason.  I kept looking at the marathon website and obsessively eating every carbohydrate in a 50 mile radius. My coworkers noticed how anxious I was, and took every opportunity to laugh at how ridiculous I was being.

Friday
I took Friday off work, even though we weren't leaving town till early evening.  I used Friday to pace around a lot, clean up my playlist, charge up the Garmin, and pack.... and check, re-check, re-re-check the separate "marathon stuff only" bag I had packed.  Seriously, even though I KNEW I had packed everything I needed, I still had a moment of near panic when we were halfway to Mpls that I had forgotten my Garmin (I had not.  duh).  I was glad I took the day off to get things done and get the house ready for my awesome mother in law who would be wrangling the dynamic duo all weekend.  We took off for Mpls around 6:30 and were surprised how quickly we made it!  It had been quite awhile since we had taken a road trip without two young'ns.

Side note:
We scored a last minute hotel room in Downtown Minneapolis, only about 3 blocks from the Metrodome.  SCORE!

Side side note:
Said hotel was like straight up 1985 fabulous.  Don't believe me?  ZENITH TELEVISION.  For rizzles.  Don't believe me again?  PASTEL SEASHELL DECOR.  STILL need more proof?  Arcade with Ms Pac-Man.  BOOM.

Saturday
Was SO excited to sleep in.... but my stupid body woke up at 7am anyway.  Lamesville.  Enjoyed a fairly legit breakfast (the usual fare of thin bacon, subpar scrambled eggs, toast, yogurt, etc... BUT there was a made-to-order omelet station.  YES!)

Oh, speaking of breakfast, I am SO glad my pre-race neurosis helped me remember to plan ahead a breakfast strategy.  When we arrived at the hotel, I learned that breakfast on the weekends did not begin till 7am.... which would be too late for me on race morning.  Lucky for me, I packed two slices of wheat bread and a jar of Skippy Super Chunk in my marathon bag.  I was not going to risk not having my usual race meal.  Double lucky for me, the breakfast nook had a toaster available for me to use so I didn't have to try to chew on chewy non-toasted bread.  (People, there IS a difference, despite what my naysayer hubby might tell you).  Jay, ever supportive hubby, told me I was being ridiculous about the breakfast thing.  I say not.

Anywhooooo, the expo opened at 10am and we arrived pretty much right at 10.  Picked up my race stuff and walked around the expo, drooling over new running gear, but showing a great deal of self-control!  Ate random free samples of stuff, grabbed some GU free samples, and of course, a few bags of Old Dutch potato chips (how come they give away chips at every expo I've ever been to?).  The authors of my FAVORITE running books "Run Like a Mother" and "Train Like a Mother" had a table at the expo and I was super excited to meet them!  I took a photo with them and bought a shirt that said "It's fine, I ran today."  The only other thing I purchased was a 26.2 magnet for my car (which, by the way, if you have a plastic car, don't expect a magnet to stick to it... durh), and a pair of TCM Fitsoks (the BEST running sock).

After the expo, hubby and I struggled to think of something to do.  Funny that we had a weekend free from children and we couldn't figure out what to do with ourselves.  When in doubt, go to the best/worst place in the world:  Mall of America!  We grabbed a yummy Asian stir fry lunch, some gelato for dessert, and did a little shopping.  Since it's 1990 all over again, I bought myself a sweeeet pair of turquoise cords from Gap!  We also hit up a movie, which was nice because it was cheap, and it didn't require me to walk around all afternoon.

And of course, we had to pasta it up for dinner!  We met up with my friend Amanda (a kick ass runner and the person who told me I could totally run a marathon) and went for dinner in Uptown at this place called Rinata.  It was fantastic!  A little pizza and bread for appetizers and an amazing butternut squash ravioli for my main course.  Great food and lots of laughter helped me to feel a little less anxious about the next day.

We got back to the hotel by 9pm and I paced around for a good hour getting my bib pinned to my shirt and setting out all of my biz for the next morning.  Texted back and forth with Stacie about our plans for meeting up in the morning, and then a little more pacing.  I took two melatonin because I REALLY wanted to sleep that night.  And actually, I got okay sleep... a few wake ups, but not awful.

Oh, and during one of those wake ups, just before midnight, Jay told me that he was able to get us FREE Vikings tickets and did I want to go?  Um, DUH.  Bad idea to go directly from running a marathon to a Vikings game?  Probably.  Didn't care- was SO excited!

To be continued... up next, Race Report!

anxiety

5 more sleeps.

Okay, here's the dilemma of the day.  I was going to just put this all out on a status update on Facebook, but then I realized that 95% of my friends have got to be TOTALLY sick of reading about running and marathoning and carb-loading, and blah blah blah.

My dilemma is this:

Reeeeeemember how super crazy I was over the past couple of months with my waking up early and my running before work?  Reeeeeeemember how I was like super duper motivated and followed Hal Higdon's training plan to the T?

Tapering has effed that up.  BIG time. 

Now some sort of switch has flipped in my brain and I'm in total "rest and recovery" mode.  Which.... is kind of the point of tapering... but I have a hard time getting up early now because I'm all like "oh... the rest and sleep are good for me!" 

So every morning that I'm supposed to run over the past week and change has been a fight between running and resting.  Resting keeps winning the battle.  And then I feel all guilty and anxious and paranoid that I am totally screwing myself.  I haven't dropped out of running totally, so I shouldn't feel SO bad? 

Here's how last week looked:

Tuesday- 4 miles scheduled.  4 miles ran.  (go me!)
Wednesday- 6 miles scheduled.  SKIPPED IT.  Told myself I'd do it on Thursday.
Thursday- Skipped yesterday's 6 miler again.
Friday- Was going to run 3 miles.... skipped it.  Figured I would make up for it on Saturday because I was going to run my long run and a 5k.
Saturday- 8 miles scheduled for the long run.  Ran 6.  A couple of hours later ran in a 5K race... well... more like ran/walked

It felt like a huge fail of a week.... but I guess I still logged 13.  AND I got some good rest and feel like I am caught up on sleep.


This week:

Today I was supposed to run 3 and have not yet run it.  Now my problem is if I am going to run, I will have to do it tonight at like 9pm.  I KNOW if I run late at night, I will be tired for TOMORROW's run. 

So, my question is:
Is today's 3 miler THAT big of a deal?  Do I have permission to stop feeling guilty?  Can I just run my 4 mile tomorrow and stop feeling terrified that I've screwed my training over the past week or so? 


My anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF!  AAACCCKKKK!!!!!